Exploring your Shadow

Like the beautiful petals that make up a lotus flower, each of us is comprised of different parts that make up our Whole.

Like the beautiful petals that make up a lotus flower, each of us is comprised of different parts that make up our Whole.

Do you ever get “carried away” by a part of you? Let me give you an example. I was in a big meeting at work that included several supervisors. We were talking about health and wellness, which is one of my passions. A young guy started talking about doing coaching, and one of my pet peeves is people who have no formal coach training calling themselves coaches.

The part of me that has spent 10 years and thousands of dollars getting and maintaining my coaching credential felt very angry and spouted off about the cost and commitment involved in the process.

No one in the room responded. I don’t think they really cared about what I’d invested. And my words didn’t really answer the question that had been raised.

Even worse, I think that display of temper did me no service. I came off as “too emotional” and not someone the organization would want in a management position.

Has anything similar ever happened to you? If the answer is “yes,” keep reading, because I’ve recently learned about an amazing style of coaching , called Parts Work, that we can use to stop self sabotage.

Though in reality we know each of us is a whole human being,  the idea that we are all made up of many different ‘parts’ is very helpful in creating change that lasts. With Parts Work, you can learn to understand and transform what seems to stand in your way.  You can begin to see painful lifelong patterns with new clarity and understanding and get the internal support you need to shift those patterns. You can discover how to connect with your Inner Warrior and transform you Inner Critic into a powerful Ally. You can even use the process to connect with your Guides and heal painful past life experiences.  

In a Parts Work coaching session, you chose an area of focus and then explore which parts of you are connected with this. Your internal parts are like a family (the process is also called Internal Family Systems.) Some parts function like a big brother—they protect more vulnerable parts that have been wounded by painful life events. Other parts are like firefighters—they spring to action when the vulnerable parts get triggered by painful emotions.

 The protector parts often show up as behaviors we don’t like—such as anxiety, or in my example above, as a prickly part that gets offended. The great thing about Parts Work is that we don’t try to “get rid of” any parts. All parts are welcome. And when you help the parts with the unwanted behavior know that you are safe and there are other ways you can get your needs met, they can transform and become allies.

 All this is accomplished by what I love most about Parts Work: accessing a critical mass of Self. Self is defined as the Divine indwelling. When we can connect with enough Self, we realize that all of our parts are doing the best they can. We help protectors find a job that’s better suited to their gifts. We help the vulnerable & wounded ones unburden.

 Parts Work is a powerful and amazing process that I’d love to share with you in through upcoming coaching groups, workshops, or a 1:1 session.  See my website events page for more details. Or Google Parts Work or Internal Family Systems.  Enjoy your healing and transformation!